Pain, Pain, Go Away!

How about almond-crusted liver and gathered greens & veg with refreshing paleo ranch dressing . Home-grown lettuce (along with a little from the farmer's market), nasturtium, lamb's quarters and borage flowers along with cucumber and bell peppers make for an interesting salad. To make the liver, have a beaten egg and some almond meal ready. (I take a handful of almonds and put them in the food processor with the S blade for a few minutes.) Cut the film off the liver and cut the liver into pieces about 1.5" square. Roll the pieces in the egg, then in the almond meal and fry in lard over medium heat.

Unless you live next door to McDonald's, you won't get faster fast food. Hat tip to Tess over at Tess's Paleo Journey for the idea of bacon-wrapped liver. Ingredients: 2 T lard 1/2 small sweet potato 1/2 bell pepper 1/2 pound liver 2 strips bacon 4 mushrooms 2 T olive oil salt for mayonnaise: 1 egg 1 cup light olive oil or grape seed oil 1 t mustard 1 t lemon juice few dashes of savory spices (e.g., herbes de Provence, Mrs. Dash, etc.) dash salt & pepper Put the broiler pan 4" from the flame and preheat the broiler. Heat the lard in a medium sauce pan on medium-high heat. Peel and julienne the sweet potato into 1/4" wide strips. Trim any film or tough bits from the liver and cut it into strips 3/4" x 3/4" x 3" long. Use a very sharp, thin knife if you have one. If the mushrooms are large, cut them into two or three pieces. Toss them in the olive oil and skewer them. Put the sweet potato and liver trimmings (the bit

With no added sugar and a complex flavor, and taking only a few minutes to make, this is better than any $10 gut bomb from a restaurant. Not for most kids or anyone else whose taste hasn't outgrown Rice Krispies treats. 1 egg 1 can (~2 cups) coconut milk 1/4 cup Splenda 3 T baking cocoa 1/2 t vanilla extract 1/2 t almond extract 1/2 t coffee extract In a medium bowl, beat the egg. In a separate small bowl, blend the baking cocoa with 1/4 c of coconut milk until smooth. (Stir the coconut milk well first if it's separated.) Add the coconut milk-baking cocoa mixture to the egg. Stir in the rest of the coconut milk, Splenda, and flavorings. Process in an ice cream maker according to manufacturer instructions. (In my electric Cuisinart ice cream maker, it takes 10 to 15 minutes.) Homemade ice cream gets very hard when frozen. For leftovers, remove from the freezer and let sit half an hour before serving. Fat fast info: 1/4 batch has 202 calories; 87% from fat.

A diet of soft food doesn't mean you have to live on protein shakes or broth. Over the past week and a half, I've been making real food, mostly paleo, that I can eat with my dental injuries--and that I can make with an arm injured, and that doesn't get stuck in my braces. These three recipes, along with others on this blog I've labeled "soft food," are my best results. A suggestion: get a food processor strong enough to puree meat. The Cuisinart 9-cup food processor does the job, and I can put it together with one hand. A battery-powered can opener that sits on top of the can as it works is indispensable if you can't open cans and have few plug-ins. For opening jars, run hot water over the lid for a minute, hold the jar between your heels, and twist. For portable dishwashers--let's just say it can be done. Clam Chowder 2 strips of bacon 2 cans (~3 to 4 cups) clams, with juice 2 cups stock 2 cups clam juice 1 medium head cauliflower, chopped

Never again do I want to hear how hard it is to do an elimination diet. If you think you have a natural right to happy and content and eat whatever you want without consequence, of course it will be hard. If you see life as a series of challenges to be met, and see that every food has consequences, it will be easier. And in fact, I find eliminating certain foods easier than eating them in moderation. My recent bike accident has left me unable to chew and with limited use of my right arm. (I'm right handed.) I can't eat wheat or carrageenan, can't tolerate more than a little dairy, and can't tolerate a high-carb diet. That leaves me with a low-carb, high fat (LCHF) diet of soft foods. So far, it's been a minor challenge. No, that's not an understatement, and no, I haven't had any protein shakes. I'm snooty as a Frenchman about food. To live on a soft LCHF diet of real food, you'll need a food processor with a motor powerful enough to puree meat.

Ice cream that's good for you? Yes--when there's good fats (MCTs), eggs, and no added sugar. What a shame I couldn't persuade a vegetarian acquaintance that this is a perfectly good food! Hat tip to Mark Sisson's Primal Blueprint Cookbook for the basic recipe and Nick Stellino's Mediterranean Flavors for the flavor inspiration. 2 cans coconut milk (13.5 oz each) (full fat, not light) 2 eggs 1/2 c Splenda 6 T lemon juice 1 t vanilla extract (required) Chopped pistachios (optional) Whisk the eggs in a bowl for a minute or two until they're fluffy. Whisk in the coconut milk, Splenda, lemon juice and vanilla extract until it's well blended. Churn it in an ice cream maker for 30 minutes Add pistachios if desired and enjoy. This ice cream becomes very solid when it's been in the freezer for several hours. If it's completely frozen, take it out and let it sit at room temperature for 30 minutes before serving. Fat fast info: 1/8 batch has 193

Jennifer McLagan's recipe in The Odd Bits inspired this recipe. Since I can't get blood off the shelf in the U.S., I pour the blood from liver packages into a tightly sealed container in the freezer. The cinnamon keeps the sanguinaccio from tasting like liver. 3/4 cup Splenda 1/3 c Dutch processed cocoa 2 big pinches xanthan gum Pinch of sea salt 1 c coconut milk (full fat, not light) 1/2 c blood 1-1/2 t cinnamon Place the Splenda, cocoa, salt and xanthan gum in a bowl and mix will. Stir in the coconut milk until the mixture is smooth. Pour in the blood through a mesh filter and stir well. Pour the mixture into a saucepan over medium heat and cook, stirring constantly, until it thickens and begins to bubble. Remove from heat. Refrigerate, serve cold. Optional: churn the mixture in an ice cream maker once it's cold. ETA: This may be the most filling food I've ever had. One cup of it for dinner--after no lunch today--and I'm full.

It's been a year since I started the cavity healing diet. Last week, I went back to the dentist for a routine cleaning and exam. Results: Dr. Michelangelo (not his real name) still wanted to fill the small cavities he found last year. I had this done today. I don't think the fillings will hurt anything, and having them should prevent crud from finding a place to settle for the day. And I don't think he's given to drilling and filling for the sake of it: he never gave my best friend a filling while he was her dentist, and back in February when one of my wisdom teeth hurt, he said the tooth was fine and diagnosed a sinus infection. (Infection can raise your blood sugar, which probably didn't help my teeth over the last six months.) After he was finished, Dr. Michelangelo said the cavity had probably been forming for years.I know the groove on my lower tooth was there for years. He remarked that how white my teeth were, down to the roots (he used A2 colored fillin

Liver is Mother Nature's multi-vitamin, and at two dollars and change a pound, it's an inexpensive meal. The challenge is eating it if you don't like it. How about giving yourself a reward while you eat it: gravy! Chicken Fried Liver 1/4 pound chicken livers 3 T coconut flour 1 egg, beaten 3 T almond meal Pinch salt Few dashes of savory spice mix (herbes fines, jerk spice, Mrs. Dash, etc.) 2 T lard or coconut oil Heat the lard or coconut oil over a medium-low flame. In a small bowl, mix the salt and spices with the almond meal. Roll the liver in coconut flour, then egg, then the almond meal mix and put on a separate plate. When all the livers are ready, put them in the pan, using tongs and an oven mitt for safety's sake. Gently turn them after one minute. Let them cook for five to ten minutes until they're no longer bloody. Place them on a clean plate. Gravy Pan drippings from the liver 2 large chopped button mushrooms 1/2 c chicken or other m

Here's my tasty ranch dressing to go with fish cakes, salad, or raw vegetables. 1 c homemade mayonnaise 2 c coconut milk 1/2 English cucumber, peeled and pureed 2 garlic cloves, minced 1 T Dijon mustard 2 T lemon juice 1 t dried dill 1 t dried parsley salt and pepper Mix all ingredients well. Serve.

Edited to add: I made a mistake in counting the carbs in these cookies: they actually have 2.5 net grams of carb, not one, and five grams of protein. I apologize for the error. By popular demand, my recipe for low carb almond meal chocolate cookies. (Recipe adapted from this one at The Naked Kitchen.) Each of these cookies has a scant 2.5g net carbohydrate and 5g of protein. Why almond flour instead of wheat flour? Cardiologist William Davis wrote a whole book called Wheat Belly on wheat's being one of the worst foods you can put into your mouth. (Wheat elimination is part of his program for reversing heart disease.) Wheat is an appetite stimulant; it can send your blood sugar over the moon, leading to insulin resistance and advanced glycation end products (AGEs) that, well, age you; it can cause autoimmune disorders. Even in you've had a negative test for celiac, you might be wheat sensitive. I can attest to the last part. I'm not celiac, but once I eliminated wh

My new favorite dessert: coconut milk hot chocolate. 1/2 c coconut milk 1 square (1/2 oz) baking chocolate 1 squirt (1/8 t) liquid stevia extract hot water In a saucepan, heat the coconut milk over a medium-low flame. Add the chocolate and stir it as it melts. Add the stevia, stir, and pour into a cup. Add hot water to fill the cup. Net carbs: 6.3g. Don't tell your lipophobic loved ones there's 32g of fat (25g of it saturated). 

Some people would call me "green": I tend to repair things instead of throwing them away, and I avoid buying disposable junk in the first place. My house is furnished in mid-90s estate sale, along with some antiques and good quality furniture I bought new in the 80s. I generally dry my clothes on a clothesline. (Really, I'm just cheap and lazy. Drying the clothes outside saves wear and tear on the clothes and the dryer, fixing the dishwasher and coffee maker was much cheaper and easier than running out to buy new ones, and so on.) So I hesitated to replace my range, even though the burners didn't self-ignite anymore and the oven had stopped working. I looked up how to fix ranges on the Internet, but without an owner's manual, without diagnostic tools more sophisticated than my ohm meter, and without easy access to the stove's working parts, I didn't know what was wrong with it. (Contrary to popular belief, an engineering degree isn't much help when

Waste not, want not. -English proverb "I don't like pumpkin pie, but this is delicious. What is it?" Various people commenting on pie made with fresh pumpkin Pumpkins and other squash are used so much for decoration that people seem to forget they're edible. The flesh and seeds are a little on the carby side, but the seeds are full of minerals and pumpkin flesh is full of beta carotene, vitamin C and potassium . If pumpkin doesn't sound appetizing, you're not alone: I never considered eating it until I was in my 30s. My mother makes a gooey, sugary concoction that desecrates acorn squash and we threw out jack-o-lanterns on November 1 when I was a kid. Pumpkin pie was made from canned goop. Forget all that. These are savory recipes I think you'll love, and they don't take much hands-on time. How to Roast a Pumpkin If you think you don't like pumpkin, maybe it's because you've never had anything but the canned goop. Here's how

If you love onion rings but you're avoiding wheat or watching carbs, give this a try. It's my own creation. They're a little softer and chewier than onion rings, but still tasty. I wouldn't recommend them otherwise. 2 cleaned calamari tubes, cut into rings 2 T coconut flour with a pinch of thyme, oregano, salt and pepper 1 egg, beaten 1/4 c almond flour 1/4 c olive or coconut oil Lemon wedge Heat the oil on medium high heat. Dredge the calamari in the coconut flour, then the egg, then the almond flour. Using tongs and oven mitts for safety, fry for a few minutes, turning frequently, until they look done. Sprinkle with lemon juice. Edited to add: It looks like onions, gram for gram, have only a tiny bit more carb than calamari, so using onions shouldn't add add much more carbohydrate. (You could try small mushrooms, too, for *very* little carb.) It's the almond flour vs. bread crumbs and coconut flour vs. wheat flour where you'll really cut down o

Readers know I'm on a mission to heal my cavities without the help of a drill. As part of that goal, I took a vitamin D test. The results are in: Vitamin D3 is within the range which many experts consider normal (>32 ng/ml), but not optimal for health (50-80 ng/ml). Vitamin D deficiency has been closely associated with a wide range of conditions and diseases, which include cardiovascular disease, stroke, osteoporosis, osteomalacia, cancer, and autoimmune diseases such as multiple schlerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, and diabetes (types 1 and 2) (for review see: Holick MF, NEJM 357: 266-281, 2007). Research by Weston A. Price and the Drs. Mellanby showed that a diet high in vitamin D (among other nutrients) and low in cereals healed cavities in children and dogs. The next step: determine a dose. The official recommended daily intake is 400 IU, but Dr. William Davis, a cardiologist, has often pointed out the folly of recommending one dose for everyone. The Food