Bacon Liver Kebabs and Fries in 15 minutes

Unless you live next door to McDonald's, you won't get faster fast food. Hat tip to Tess over at Tess's Paleo Journey for the idea of bacon-wrapped liver.

Ingredients:
2 T lard
1/2 small sweet potato
1/2 bell pepper
1/2 pound liver
2 strips bacon
4 mushrooms
2 T olive oil
salt

for mayonnaise:
1 egg
1 cup light olive oil or grape seed oil
1 t mustard
1 t lemon juice
few dashes of savory spices (e.g., herbes de Provence, Mrs. Dash, etc.)
dash salt & pepper

1. Put the broiler pan 4" from the flame and preheat the broiler.
2. Heat the lard in a medium sauce pan on medium-high heat. Peel and julienne the sweet potato into 1/4" wide strips.
3. Trim any film or tough bits from the liver and cut it into strips 3/4" x 3/4" x 3" long. Use a very sharp, thin knife if you have one.
4. If the mushrooms are large, cut them into two or three pieces. Toss them in the olive oil and skewer them.
5. Put the sweet potato and liver trimmings (the bits you don't want) in the lard and cover.
6. Skewer the liver. When the kebab is full, wrap a piece of bacon around it in a spiral, starting in the middle.
7. 
8. Put all the kebabs on the broiler for three minutes, turn, and cook another three minutes. If the fries aren't ready, put the kebabs on a plate and cover them with foil.
9. Check the fries from time to time; take them out when they're done and salt them. Cover with foil if the kebabs aren't ready.
10. Meantime, cut the pepper into strips and make the mayonnaise.
11. Feed the fried liver bits to your dog, cat or other meat-eating animal.

Mayonnaise:

Break the egg in a blender and add the mustard, spices, lemon juice and salt. Turn on the blender and add the olive oil until it starts to pool at the top. Use or refrigerate immediately.