Pain, Pain, Go Away!

Let me tell you about my ride in an ambulance last night. I woke up at six o'clock from a nap with a mild headache. I ate dinner and took my vitamins, along with a couple of extra magnesium pills. Since magnesium helps my TMJ flare-ups, I thought it might help my headache. Then I went to see my mother. A few hours later, I had a severe headache, sinus pain and nausea. During a brief respite from the pain, I left for home, but less than a mile later, I got out of my car and threw up. A cop, Officer Fisher, pulled up behind me and asked if I was okay. He believed me when he said I hadn't been drinking, but he said I seemed lethargic and he wanted the paramedics to see me. (Later he mentioned that a man he'd recently stopped was having a stroke.) Thinking I had a migraine headache, the paramedics wanted to take me to the hospital. But since I knew that doctors don't know what causes migraine headaches, and I didn't know what effect their medicine would have on m...

Sasha always attracted admirers, but didn't like to be petted by them. He was handsome and fluffy, but I heard he bit someone who put his hand over the fence. He was more cat than dog, but ended up with a common canine disease: oral melanoma, a cancer of the mouth. My vet, Dr. McCarthy, said he'd live three months if I let nature take its course, and referred me to a veterinary oncologist. The oncologist was taken with Sasha; Sasha let her look in his mouth. After discussing our options (chemotherapy, expensive radiation, ghastly partial jaw removal), we decided on chemotherapy. A few days on chemo put Sasha at death's door: he wouldn't eat and had become incontinent. I took him to Dr. McCarthy with the intention of putting him down. But she recommended Zantac and a diet of chicken breast and white rice, and no more chemo. She looked at Sasha as if she'd never see him again. About that time, I consulted a holistic veterinarian who recommended a grain-free diet. I ha...

It's been three and a half weeks since I stopped eating wheat (except on my weekly free day). I haven't changed my exercise routine, just my diet. Keep in mind I that about the only wheat I ate in one day was two slices of bread, maybe a pita too on a rare day. I've substituted fruit, beans, rice and potatoes for wheat. Results: My cravings for junk food have disappeared. I've stopped snacking on caramel corn, chocolate and diet soda on my non-free days. I eat two tiny pieces of chocolate per day, at most. My hair stays clean longer. Certain foods taste better. Coconut chai tea tastes like a candy bar in a cup (yes, I drink it straight) and even sardines taste better. Since I got a scale ten days ago, I've lost two pounds. I even had to tighten the straps on my backpack today. Three happy words: no menstrual pain. I have more energy. If I were a horse, my name would be Secretariat. My mother, who is diabetic and in a rehabilitation center with a broken leg, agreed ...