^^I wish he'd offer me some bacon.
This is a post that doesn't apply to my readers, just to readers of other blogs. Not blogs that recommend limiting carbs or avoiding things like wheat or dairy, or show you how to cook, or dissect scientific studies, but blogs that tell you the few things you can eat, because everything else will kill you and destroy the planet. (You also need their book, exercise plan, supplements and $500 juicer to avoid dying.)
These plans are complicated, difficult, expensive, subject to change, and of questionable validity and efficacy, but they have their benefits. There's the not dying part--and saving the world, too. You also get to feel superior, special and catered to. In other words, you get to be a fussbudget.
Robert over at Living Stingy observes that being fussy confers status--or at least the feeling of status. Restaurants, for example, have to try to fill your very special order--that is, if they even serve anything you're "allowed" (see video above).
When you're the fussbudget in the group, you get to pick the restaurant. Same if you're picky about a restaurant's ambience, image, or political correctness of their ads. In other words, you get to control the decisions of the whole group.
So what's wrong with status and control? The mere mortals around you might feel lower status and manipulated--or at least inconvenienced for no good reason. They might not stick around. Any new friends will have to be doormats or people just like you, who'll reinforce your annoying habits.
How to stop being annoying? I hate to say anything against self-diagnosed conditions--people have cured themselves where their doctors failed. Have you cured something, though? Are you at least trying a proposed cure for some condition? Or are you avoiding foods that you've heard are bad without knowing how those conclusions were reached or without reading any counter-arguments? Are you on a special diet for your health, or is your special diet a big part of your identity? If it's the latter, you're apt to be overly concerned about it.
If you really do need a special diet, sum it up in a sentence and make it easy for your companions to work with. I'm low-carb and tell people that as long as I can get some eggs or unbreaded meat, I'm good. (I need a real lunch, not just a salad.) If you have a serious condition like diabetes or a severe allergy, suggest a few places where you can eat without problems. If you don't have a serious condition, if certain foods don't make you sick or send you on a bender, stop being a fussbudget. Just sit down and eat because the mere mortals around you are hungry.
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