Skip to main content

Want Something? The Universe Doesn't Care

Wouldn't it be great to think, picture and believe your way to a wonderful life? Being a science geek, it's easy to forget how popular that belief is, even among educated people. Call it The Secret, the law of attraction, positive thinking, or affirmations. I call it wishing for a no-effort solution; Richard Rumelt describes it aptly in Good Strategy, Bad Strategy:

But I do know that believing that rays come out of your head and change the physical world, and that by thinking only of success you can become a success, are forms of psychosis and cannot be recommended as approaches to management or strategy....Nevertheless, the doctrine that one can impose one's visions and desires on the world by the force of thought alone retains a powerful appeal to many people. 

This hit home lately because my mother is in the hospital and I have to take time off from work to be with my father since my nephew works afternoons and nights. My parents have an assistant and she's done a yeoman's work, but she has other clients besides them. I'm trying to get Dad into a nursing home, but given his needs, it's not easy to find a place. Since my parents' Medicaid application hasn't gone through yet, we're "Medicaid pending," meaning somebody has to pay full freight (around $3,000 per month) until the application is approved. Once it's approved, you get reimbursed.

No amount of positive thinking will make this go away. The buck stops here with me because it has to--there's no one else's lap to dump it in. Wishful thinking won't get Dad into a nursing home and the law of attraction hasn't turned up many people who want to deal with this.

Fantasize all you want, the universe doesn't care. Is someone supposed to jump at the chance to take on your responsibilities for bathing and cooking for Grandma just because you'd rather be backpacking in Thailand?

Affirmations aren't substitutes for difficult decisions. My parents could have taken action to make this easier for me: signing the application for Medicaid months ago when it looked like Dad might need to go to a nursing home, moving to a smaller place near my home (they'd have had more resources to deal with this), getting rid of things instead of accumulating more and fantasizing about needing rototillers and a garage full of power tools at the age of 80. The things could have been organized instead of thrown into piles. I used to have nightmares about dealing with all my parents' stuff. For whatever reason, a LC diet makes me sleep like the dead. I rarely have dreams anymore--a blessing.

To take such action, though, you have to answer unpleasant questions: what if neither of us could drive anymore? What if we can't take care of ourselves? What if somebody else has to deal with this? 

Comments

tess said…
rough times -- i'm sorry to hear you're having to go through this, Lori! best wishes to you all....
Lori Miller said…
Thanks, Tess.
Larcana said…
I feel your pain. Sory for the troubles.
We went through this with my Dad about two months ago, thankfully he was so ill they he died in Hospice care. I thankfully because he had a living will and didn't want tube feeding, etc. Mom knew this and had taken the legal precautions.
I miss him daily...but the whole event left us all thinking and doing upgrades to our wills and long term care policies.
Yes, no amount of wishing will make it go easier.
Lori Miller said…
Thanks, Larcana, and I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm at my parents' house, finding bills and important papers in random places. Both my parents may need to go somewhere.
So sorry you're experiencing these troubles .....sending good thoughts your way.

All the best Jan
Lori Miller said…
Thank you, Jan.

Popular posts from this blog

Dana Carpender's Podcast; Dr. Davis on YouTube; Labor Day Sales

Dana Carpender, who's written several recipe books and other works on low-carb, has a podcast and is still writing articles at carbsmart.com. She's a terrific writer and amateur researcher (otherwise known as reading , as Jimmy Dore jokes ). I use her book 500 Low-Carb Recipes all the time and I'm looking forward to hearing more from her. I've embedded her podcast on my blog (click on the three lines at the top right if you don't see it, or go to Spotify or other podcast source if you're getting this by email). Carbsmart.com doesn't seem to have a blog feed, so if you want to see the latest posts there, you can sign up for notifications at their site. Dr. Davis has been putting a lot more videos on YouTube, so I've added his channel to the lineup. Click on the three lines on my blog if you don't see it, or go to his channel here .  * * * * * Primal Kitchen is having a Labor Day sale-- 20% off everything. They sell high quality collagen powder, con...

Fermented bread and butter pickle recipe ft. L. Plantarum

After Dr. Davis said the other night that  L. plantarum  may reduce some of the effects of the herbicide glyphosate (which is everywhere), I'm re-running my recipe for fermented bread and butter pickles. Pickling cucumbers naturally have  L. plantarum  bacteria on them, and fermenting them with some brown sugar multiplies these bacteria. (Just don't use chlorinated water to wash them.) And if you're growing your own cucumbers, avoid spraying the fruits with  Bacillus thuringiensis , or Bt (leaves and vines are OK). It's unclear what effect a big dose of Bt would have on humans. Another benefit of DIY pickles: no emulsifiers like polysorbate 80, which is a common ingredient in pickles. If you have GI problems, it could be from emulsifiers. These sweet-and-sour pickles are the tastiest I've ever made. There's just a little added sugar (some of which the bacteria will consume) and turmeric that gives the pickles their bright color.  Special equipment Quar...

Collagen-filled Low Carb Burritos

Low-carb, grain-free Mexican food is hard to find, but it's easy to make your own at home. This recipe has an authentic ingredient: carne de lengua, or beef tongue. Don't be put off: beef tongue is tender, delicious, and full of collagen. Look for it directly from farmers in your area. To cook it, cut it in 1" to 1-1/2" slices and pressure cook for one hour. Enjoy the delicious broth as a bonus. Ingredients 1 slice cooked beef tongue, peeled and cut into small cubes 1 egg wrap (I use these  from Egglife) 1/4 cup cooked black or pinto beans Chili pepper Oregano Garlic (powdered or minced) Cumin Guacamole (with no emulsifiers) Salsa Shredded cheddar cheese Sour cream or homemade cream cheese  with no emulsifiers  Put the egg wrap on a plate and put the beef and beans down the middle of it. Sprinkle with the herbs and spices. Wrap, turn over and microwave for 1-2 minutes. Spoon salsa over the burrito and sprinkle with cheese. Add guacamole and sour cream or homemade crea...

15% Off Starter Culture

Starter culture for the wonderful cream cheese I made is 15% off for the next two weeks (through June 18, 2025). The shop (BacillusBulgaricus.com) also offers rennet and starter for other cheeses, yogurt, kefir, kombucha, sour cream, fermented vegetables, and more. They ship to 118 countries across six continents. The coupon code is LORI_sekd3tkb at bacillusbulgaricus.com .  Photo from Pexels .

Cardio: A Waste of Valuable Dance Time

"I'd rather hold a girl in my arms than a football." -Joe DeCicco, friend and dancing fanatic Have you heard that it takes a woman 77 hours of exercise to lose a kilogram of fat? (For us Americans, that's half a pound.) That's according to a study cited by Dr. John Briffa .(1) The women who huffed and puffed three hours a week for a year ended up 4.4 pounds lighter than the sedentary women. That doesn't surprise me: my own weight loss involved a lot less exercise than what I'd been doing. I did no cardio workouts, just strength training . I had more time and energy for dancing, which is a stress reliever, helps keep me in shape, and it's a ton of fun. It's not expensive to dance (as long as you stay away from the studios). I've found excellent lessons at clubs where the teachers really care about the students getting it. Here in Denver, there are dancing clubs that are run by nonprofit organizations, where the prices are reasonable and...