Sunday, December 18, 2011

Guide to Politely Turning Down Food

Denver must be one of the most polite places. Strangers flocked to help me when I fainted on the street, I've never been bothered when walking downtown or in fifty-cent parking lots late at night, and on the rare occasion someone bothers me on the bus, the driver or another passenger puts the creep in his place. (It's the suburbs of Denver where people get shot.)

Pressuring people to eat things they don't want to eat isn't done here. (Colorado also has the lowest rate of obesity in the US. Coincidence?) Here are some things I say to politely refuse high-carb food. If a phrase doesn't work on the first try, just keep repeating it.

Q. Would you like a cookie?
A. No, thanks.

Q. Are you sure you won't have one?
A. It looks delicious, but I'll pass, thanks.

Q. It's low fat/honey sweetened/all natural/etc.
A. Thank you, but most sweets just don't agree with me.

Q. Are you on a diet? (Note: I've only heard of people asking this, so I'm improvising an answer.)
A. I'm sorry, but I don't discuss that.

Q. One won't hurt you, will it? (This is rarely said around here.)
A. I'm sure you don't want to hear about my gastrointestinal problems.

At this point, it's hard to imagine someone continuing to insist you take their cookie. If they do, take it, thank them, go somewhere out of their sight and throw it away.


FredT said...

No thanks. They mess with my blood sugar.

Lori Miller said...

Well and good if you don't mind further discussion:

"My Aunt Edith has diabetes and these don't bother her. Her nurse said she needed the carbs." Never mind that Aunt Edith is 100 pounds overweight, takes a dozen medications and has never taken a one-hour BG reading after a carbohydrate bender.

Later on from a random person: "Why didn't you TELL me you had diabetes? And why are you still eating all those fatty foods? You're killing yourself!"

If you're patient enough to educate people, you have my admiration. If you're not, the gastrointestinal line is good. It's a rare bird who wants to hear about that.