My Low-carb Halloween Plans

Chocolate is rich, chocolate is now

Beans from Brazil and the milk from a cow.

Stephany's Chocolates, bah do bah do wah.

Please don't mention the chemical connection

That chocolate makes in my head.

It's chocolate mints I'm saying

It's a chocolate fix I'm cravin'

If I can't be in love, I'll have Stephany's instead.

-1990s radio ad for a Denver chocolatier

Chocolate is, to me, a food group unto itself. Since going low-carb, I'm no longer face-down in it, but still partake of it. It's hard for me to resist. I ate some little cookies last week at a wine store because they were coated with chocolate, knowing what wheat does to me. Even as I write this, I'm on my second dish of low-carb chocolate ice cream, knowing it will likely give me an upset stomach later. The past few Sundays, I've gone out dancing having forgotten to eat dinner. My party place conveniently had gluten-free chocolate desserts--was it really an accident that I forgot dinner?

I'm thinking it would be a bad idea to have Halloween candy at my house. My main concern isn't weight gain, but being walloped with acid reflux brought on by too much sugar. Therefore, my plan this year is to give away something people like even more than chocolate: money. This weekend, I'm going to the credit union to get some rolls of quarters. The trick-or-treaters can buy whatever candy they want, and I can stay out of the sugar bowl.

Update: It's 7 p.m., Halloween night. The kids are going away from my door shouting "Money!" This seems to be a win-win.

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