Friday, September 5, 2014

A New, Unexpected Chapter

Readers know my father passed on Monday. For friends and family members reading this, services will be at 11 AM Tuesday at Weston Lodge, 5718 S. Rapp Street, Littleton. If you wish, gifts in Dad's memory can be made to Bonfils Blood Center (Dad was a 50-gallon blood/plasma donor).

Back at my parents' home, things are still moving fast. It's no disrespect to my father--circumstances are driving it. Mom is living there again, feeling like she made a jailbreak from the nursing home. A month and a half ago, we didn't think she'd be able to live at home anymore--she was having dialysis and was so sick she still doesn't remember even going to the hospital. Yesterday, we went clothes shopping because she lost a lot of weight and needs something to wear to Dad's funeral. Today, when I mentioned (for the 20th time) that the estate sale people were going to start setting up the sale in a few weeks, she balked. (I'd set it up when I didn't think my parents were going to be back.) The signed contract, the expense of living in her house, and other hard, cold facts got me yelled at. I worried that if she didn't have a sale soon, she never would--and she'd never move. The house is too much for her to take care of and even with help, I can't do it for her. I tried this year. The estate sale people said they'd have to use part of the yard to set up--apt to be a muddy mess when it's much past early October in Denver.

They say that in a negotiation, you have to give something to get something. I showed Mom photos of a condo for sale near my house and other amenities, hoping she'd sell the house and stuff if she had somewhere else to go. It's a beautiful place, well designed for a senior. Mom was so pleased with the condo that she already wants to move there. It's something I tried to get my parents to do for years: move to a smaller, manageable place close to my house--which is close to public transportation, a senior center, a hospital and a gazillion doctors. Mom could go to Walgreens and the Country Buffet every day. She likes the idea of continuing to own her own home. If she ever has to take out Medicaid, she won't have to leave it. Talking about it, she was the happiest I've seen her in a long time.

If she wants to buy the place, the next step is...having that sale. (Even if she doesn't want to buy the condo, she'll end up going to some other condo, in which case the next step is...having that sale.) So the sale is on.

Want to buy some 60s or 70s furniture or collectibles? CDs? Vintage patterns? Power tools? Furniture? A house in the suburbs of Denver? It's got to go.

12 comments:

tess said...

well managed, Lori! :-) that'll makes both your lives easier!

Lori Miller said...

Thanks, Tess. Getting back to normal would be fantastic.

Lowcarb team member said...

Just makes so much sense Lori for you and your mom. Special thoughts for next Tuesday.

Best Wishes Jan

Lori Miller said...

Thanks, Jan. If the place checks out, it really would make a lot of sense for Mom to move there.

Galina L. said...

I am happy for you and your mom.

Lori Miller said...

Thanks, Galina. Mom looked at the condo today and loved it.

Galina L. said...

Did mom say anything at all about 99% of junk missing? Probably her old house looks less familiar for her now and easier to part with.

Lori Miller said...

Oh, there's still a lot of stuff there. Even so, she told her assistant how bare it looked. :/

Val said...

Before these latest episodes pretty much confined my dad to his armchair, he went on a major "clean-out" campaign... Of course my mom was livid (& there's still a lot of stuff!!! as you note, Lori) but it helped a lot. His workshed sits empty as well as 3rd space in garage, which will be handy places to shift things when it's time for The Really Big (Permanent) Clean-Out...

Lori Miller said...

They must have a lot of stuff if they have a place with three garages and it's mostly full. At least your dad made some headway.

Val said...

Well the 1st two stalls contain CARS as they should ;-) !!!
The 3rd stall had been serving as impromptu storage but yep, there's still a lot of stuff... I don't look forward to that, but a friend told me about services which will come in & do the estate sale for ya.

Lori Miller said...

There's no way I could do an estate sale myself. Cleaning, displaying, pricing, advertising, ringing things up, and preventing theft and damage is more than I can do.